yuck: Monday night, turning on the tv on (sans cable now) and finding that the best thing on is some reality show with has-been celebrities in a boot camp setting.
no, I don't watch football.
antidote: a little Satie and some quality time with a warm laptop on my jammied lap, followed by some really fluffy and entertaining reading.

it's fall. I've been griping a lot in the last few days about how the change of seasons doesn't really happen in the west, how ripped off I feel every spring and fall. and yet- I can feel the difference. shorter days, cooler air, having to close the window because it's actually chilly. maybe my mind is just creating the ambience of what I remember as fall. maybe I just need to get more sleep, and earlier dark makes it easier for me to think of crawling into bed. cozier.

speaking of bed, my new one is quite comfy and springy and soft for a futon, and it turns into a couch very easily... so lately I've been making the "couch" but leaving all the flannelly sheets, comforter and pillows on it- which makes an unbelievably perfect nest. my apartment is just big enough for one person to exist in without going crazy... the nest, the new clear christmas lights, the flannel, the candle, the Satie, it all helps...

and speaking of apartments, David West generously gave me a pile of his chapbooks last week, and earlier I finished reading "The Apartment That Ate Me."
yes, I sent that guy an email saying I could get him in touch with D.W.
cool world we live in.

Door, by David West

An iron bar on the doorframe covers a hole
from the machete of a john who had business
with the previous tenant. I'm told he wanted
the crack she sold more than her. Since calling
the cops was out, she offered to let him in
so she could shoot him. I look at its scars

and tell myself: This is a good door.
It stopped a machete. I am also grateful
for the doorbell, which, though lit, is mute,
thus sparing any canvassers my sweet opinions
about God and the Democratic Party, which are
clearly stated on the door: no solicitors.
By the time I get home tonight,

it's 7:30 and I'm mad. What I do to pay
for this door is a waste of time,
but what's left is protected. What's left
is mine. I believe in doors. They are where
civilization begins. Still, now and then,
when I open it up, I think: not that I want
to be besieged by armed crackheads

but nobody ever wanted to get at me very bad.
I'm told the busted bell is a pain in the ass.
One girl complained. So Where's your machete?
I asked. She said give me a key or you're
history, and I am nothing if not historical.
I love my door. It answers to me. If that's
a problem, you can always try the doorbell.

pants first, then shoes

this morning when I heard the water boil on the stove I poured grapefruit juice into my coffee grounds.
happy *@%#! monday....

my darling sister Erika is leaving tomorrow for the Peace Corps.
first, she's going for a week of training/orientation in Philadelphia or some such exotic place, and then she's off to Kyrgyzstan. She'll be in Kant City, near Bishkek, until some time in December, and then it's off to the unknown.
I have her mailing address if you'd like to send her some letters.

pie

a horoscope for Gemini this morning said, "Keep a finger in every pie."

Buffy fans, beware:
apparently Willow looks a lot like Giles this year...

Moscow: the new LA.

Last week I was at the Castro Theatre four nights in a row...
Johannes and Annette and I went to see The Black Pirate, a 1926 silent film starring Douglas Fairbanks, Billie Dove, and a lot of dirty extras playing all the dirty pirates. It was marvelous.
The following night I took myself to see Enlightenment Guaranteed, a funny and beautiful film by Dorris Dörrie about two brothers and their adventures in Japan. I could go on and on about this film. it's the best thing I've seen in a very long time. go see it if you can.
Nackt was the next night- another Dorris Dörrie...
and Sunday I saw Divided We Fall, a Czech movie I have very mixed feelings about. Mostly it just reminded me how absolutely fucking crazy and surreal life is- and people are- during times of war.

oh, this is my new favorite thing on the web, ever:
The otter cam, penguin cam, and other live cams at the Monterey Bay Aquarium website.

note: this post was previously titled "why you otter..." but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

you go, honey.
those are some foxy chaps.
I hope I'm wearing chaps at 100....

Eli just sent me this great song about oysters by Shel Silverstein.

Debra wants to know if anyone needs a 80 gallon electric hot water heater (220V).

Eli has a blog!!!
and it's going to be way, way cooler than mine...

story of my life

(Won't You Give Me A Ride Home From) Funkytown?

(we *heart* McSweeney's...

More "Possible Follow-up Songs for One-Hit Wonders:"
-How Are We Going to Get These Dogs Back In?
-I Will Now Pass the Dutchie Back to You and Thank You for Passing It to Me Originally Because I Really Enjoyed the Dutchie
-Seriously, Eileen, Come On

Danziger cartoons have been great lately.
I especially like this one.

oof.
on the other hand, sleep deprivation is also used as a form of torture...
I'm very tired today.

Johannes and Annette speak english very well, which means I'm cheating and substituting english wherever I can't think of the right german word...
as if my german weren't bad enough before, now I'm speaking a total mishmosh.
maybe I need to move to Berlin for a while... you know, just to get my german up to par...

further adventures in other people's vacations...

So there we were at the Tonga Room, enjoying our lovely fruity rum drinks in hideous glasses, complete with pineapple, marachino cherry and paper umbrella, when a guy in a black "staff" t-shirt came up to our table and said, "So, would you like to see Tony Bennett and kd lang sing in the Grand Ballroom in 15 minutes?" We said, "Sure!"
and Johannes and Annette were pretty pleased with the Fairmont even before that!

Part of my standard out-of-town visitors routine is to take people to the Sir Francis Hotel and make them go up and down the glass elevator a million times (good, free entertainment). We'd done that, then hiked up the hill and wandered into Grace Cathedral, then over to the Fairmont.

The concert was in the Grand Ballroom, a large (yes, grand) room with frighteningly low chandeliers (one of them looked like it was dangling by wires). It was mostly Mr. Bennett's show (dear Mr. Bennett: with all due respect, I was really more excited about kd), something they were taping for PBS. He had a blast and so did we. kd only sang three or four songs with him- apparently the two of them just finished an album of Louis Armstrong tunes together.

The funniest part, to me, was that no one was supposed to leave during the show, since they were taping. We'd been told that it would be an hour and we'd have to stay for the whole thing. No problem!
but Tony had such a good time, he just kept on singing... so after over an hour and a half, people kept trying to get up to go to the restroom and they'd just get chased into an empty seat- the people working this thing were really fast.
Toward the end an older woman tried to rush the stage (or something) with a couple tulips- alas, she was all the way in the back with us and the poor thing was more or less tackled by a staff member before she'd gone ten feet. They talked to her for a minute and then took her tulips away. it was a little sad.

We stopped for an Irish coffee at the Gold Dust Lounge on the way home, which explains why I'm still up writing this. Coffee at 10 pm on an empty stomach is not really a good idea, even when it's mixed with whisky.
But having pet tourists is awfully fun in this city... it's worth the lack of sleep. When else do I go out and have evenings like this?

außerdem haben sie, die lieben menschen, mir brötchen aus deutschland mitgebracht... they're in the freezer, just waiting to be warmed up in the oven.
yum!
next time maybe I'll remember to request some erdnußflips...

how fitting, how true

Jank the labour: To waste time at work.

from Actual Entries From the Scots Dialect Dictionary,
by John McMurtrie

don't take the cannoli

I'm tired. it's Sunday night and I've spent the (lovely) day walking around lovely San Francisco with two lovely, lovely Germans.
I took them to Glide, and then to Puerto Allegre for lunch, after which we walked all over the Mission (after all, where else would tourists want to go?) and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. There was some brief napping, followed by dinner at Chow, and a brisk walk over to Castro (after all, where else would a straight tourist couple want to go?), and then we were just worn out. being a tourist is really hard work, especially with the jet lag.
We stopped at 826 Valencia, a place I've visited a number of times in the last month (Karl and I are getting to know one another intimately), and I bought a copy of McSweeney's 7 (hurray! hurray!), which I've wanted for a while. I've just been fondling each little booklet, reading the first page or two of each, admiring...
and now I'm too full to go to sleep. I've only myself to blame. I didn't need to eat that cannoli.

vicarious vacationing

Eli went to Europe!

Apparently the Tower of Pisa has been fixed, sort of.

"In the Certaldo Museum of Religious Art: the circumcision of Jesus. Top row, second from right: the guy who paid for the painting."

Someone who'd never actually seen a hippopotomus drew some pictures of them anyway.

Professor Alexander's "Punch and Judy".

I remember my friend Matt coming to visit from Philadelphia seven or eight years ago and how amazed he was that people were so aware and involved in Mumia Abu-Jamal's struggle.
Now it's my turn to be amazed- here's a poster from Marseilles, France.

mmm, glow-in-the-dark lingonberries.

very early this morning Eli and I were listening to NPR; he looked at me and said, "I think it might have been all right if they'd just had the mayor go into the pit and howl for a few minutes."

category: yikes!
that apartment I almost moved into recently? the one I was kinda skeeved out about but thought I might take anyway?
somebody got stabbed to death on that block the other night.

to the person searching for "blue tongue"+ sore throat:
go see a doctor, for crying out loud.
or just quit eating that blueberry candy.

this is too hilarious.

the Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom. It vibrates.
Reviewers say:
"My only problem I see with the toy is the batteries drain too fast and his sister fights him over it, so now I need to buy her one."
"Even my daughter's friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this magic broomstick!"
"The broomstick has cute sound effects and ***VIBRATES*** when they put it between their legs to fly. Come on---what were the creators of this toy thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus 2000, but with the batteries removed." (spoilsport.)
"Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too!"
well, of course she does!
via Neille.
thanks, Neille, I nearly fell on the floor laughing. I needed that today.

home again, home again, jiggety...

jig.
now it's past my bedtime again, as usual.
I will never get used to having to get up early in the morning.
this long weekend spoiled me; I relaxed (for the most part at least), stayed up late, forgot about work completely- also forgot about half the things I meant to accomplish over the weekend- and now I have to get up and start over tomorrow.
schade.
El Rio was lovely- I ran into several people I haven't seen for a million years, and feel like I'm slowly rejoining the human race.
on my way home I was so hungry I gave in to a craving for a burrito, which I scarfed down as if I hadn't eaten for days. now I'm too full to go to sleep, and too sleepy to do anything.
it's still hot, at least in my apartment, and this is contributing to my laziness.
a highlight of my evening was meeting new people as well as old friends-
an old friend said, "so, are you still performing, acting...?"
I said, "no, not really," and a woman I'd just met piped up: "but she's about to start again!"
I turned with amazement and curiosity, and said, "cool!"
and the three of us burst into laughter.
the best part was dancing with Daphne- both of us trying to lead, purses banging around, hitting anyone in our way, and giggling as if there were no problems in the world...

it's hot.
we're not accustomed to this kind of weather here in foggy San Francisco.
I mean, it happens from time to time, and I enjoy it because I know it's fleeting... any moment may bring the chilly evening breeze back, and if I turn to face west later I may see the enormous and familiar wall of fog billowing toward me. usually I find it comforting. it's the blanket that puts the city to sleep.
some people are prepared for the heat- girls haul out little tiny tank tops and sun-dresses- while others, like me, wander around, in a daze, on the shady side of the street in our black jeans.
this morning I was on the 22 Fillmore, coming home from cat-sitting duty at my old apartment, unshowered, unable to shake the bad dreams I'd had, and feeling very sorry for the tall guy sitting directly under my bare armpit as I clutched the rail overhead to keep my balance while the bus lurched around corners. the guy next to me had sweat dripping down his face. the young girl on my other side had on something about the size of a hanky. an older gentleman nearby was wearing a long-sleeved, thick, kelly green polyester track suit (circa 1982) zippered up to his chin. the woman next to him was sweating in a long-sleeved polyester glitter shirt, with a jungle motif (like that house on church street). She was stuck in a sunny seat. I felt for her.
life in the city goes on. our best weather is coming now- September and October are beautiful here. summer isn't over for us yet.

I'm off to El Rio, the best place in the city to spend a warm afternoon. there's a huge outside patio, with lemon trees. it was one of the first bars I went to after I moved here, and I had never seen lemons growing on trees before...

yahoo weather says it's mostly cloudy today. that's funny.

and in other news... my new rose geranium has turned out to be a fruit-fly farm. what can I do about this?