all work and no play makes hooey a dull blog.
I wish I could say I didn't have better things to do.
perhaps after I move this weekend I'll catch up here.

ihr lieben-
It's mine, I have a new place, a little home, in the sunny part of town, I wrote a check-
I have so much to write about, but it may have to wait until my life stops being chaos.

before I pass out from exhaustion, I can tell you that I saw "The Vagina Monologues" tonight, with two sets of great sisters, one of whom has been battling breast cancer for six years and is going in for another surgery on Monday. (We waited at the Stage Door and she got to meet Eve Ensler, who is much shorter than you would imagine but incredibly personable.) Mostly I think what I loved about the show, which is great, was the older couple in front of me. They had a blast- laughing and hooting and clapping and exchanging little glances from time to time... I think everyone on the friggin' planet should see the show. even if you think you already know everything, you can still learn more. and anything you've heard about vaginas, or women's lives, or abuse, or whatever- you can hear it again.
and remember- 8,000 nerve endings in a clitoris.
more than in your lips, your fingertips, your tongue.
twice as many as in a penis.
by the way.

*crossing fingers and holding my breath*
I might have a new home.

or, as Anne said:
"I'll be druecking die daumen for the schtudio."

thanks for the greeting, Monsieur Riedel!

kyrgyzstan, part 3

Here's an excellent, tear-inducing Peace Corps Volunteer story by Leslie Wakulich, who was in the Kyrgyz Republic from 1998-1999.
Rich and Poor
(for those of you just now tuning in, my sister Erika is going to Kyrgyzstan in September for two years.)

common sense, of course

Mr. Mahoney comes through with the answer:

The true explanation of women is deceptively simple and boils down to basic algebra:
G=((478.1 x z)/p)_
…where z represents the obvious and 478.1 the median element in the standard female equivalency continuum popularized through gender-exploratory mathematics curriculums in accordance with pi’s New Parallelism and the biological determination of opposites. The factor of 2 is ordinary common sense.

go read The Morning News and 0format now.

Dignity - always dignity.

If we bring a little joy into your humdrum lives, it makes us feel as if our hard work ain't been in vain for nothing.

It turns out that my new dvd of "Singin' in the Rain" has a French language option, which is incredibly entertaining. Even the songs are dubbed. I know the movie so well that I know exactly what everyone is saying- I just wish I knew what the French translation of "Moses Supposes His Toeses are Roses" was.
That dance sequence with Cyd Charisse in that green dress and those long, long legs needs no translation...

If you've never seen this movie- do.
I saw it for the first time about 6 years ago, on a rainy day. It's an amazing film experience.
Stanley Donen (who was only 28) and Gene Kelly directed it. Debbie Reynolds was 18- it was her first big break. Donald O'Connor and Jean Hagen are unforgettably funny as Cosmo Brown and Lina Lamont. Cyd Charisse... oh, my. Rita Moreno has a small, adorable part as Zelda Zanders, an actress.

-imdb link
-Roger Ebert speaks
-some interesting trivia here:
"Newcomer Debbie Reynolds faced the same fate as her onscreen nemesis Lina Lamont. Her vocal limitations caused much of her singing (particularly the high notes) to be dubbed. In fact, when her character is portrayed as dubbing the song "Would You" for Lina Lamont, that's actually Jean Hagen herself singing. In reality, Jean had a fine voice." (is this true?)

Julia Butterfly in Ecuador jail after oil protest
Pipeline would cut through reserve

"The little gringos have been arrested, including the old cockatoo who climbs trees," Ecuadoran President Gustavo Noboa said of Hill, who attained fame for a two-year occupation of a redwood tree in Northern California.

According to a later story, she was reportedly freed and deported from Ecuador this morning.

today's Ftrain selection

"You want me to cuddle? Then don't eat my anterior tentacles for nourishment."

I love this piece by Jack Winter, and finally remembered to look for it online after reading Re-Moval on 0format.com. Mister Mahoney has uncovered some real words, uncommonly used, while the other piece is chock full of invalid root words.
oh, the fun...

How I Met My Wife
By Jack Winter, The New Yorker, 7/25/94

It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.
I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.  more

heh heh

To the owners and players of Major League Baseball
thank you, Mister Seamon.

My father's been saying the same thing (not in those words) for years. I never knew why he'd given up on his favorite childhood pastime until my brother told me recently that the last big strike (1994?) was the last straw. It makes me sad, as I've finally learned to love the game.
Dad showed me his baseball card collection last fall- the cards are mostly from the forties, and he's got a couple albums full. It's pretty great. I mean, they're not all valuble, but he still loves them, and it's really rare that I can see glimpses of my father as a kid. He's also got a nice baseball signed by a bunch of players.
I'd love to see a game with him. I don't think he even has a favorite team anymore.
As a family we weren't exactly sports-minded... maybe the occasional frisbee, some boccia- Chris and Dad occasionally took out the gloves and played catch, but I don't think I ever participated much with that. I'm sorry I didn't.
It's not too late. Some people at work are organizing a softball team...

hey, I can't wait.

Dennis Mahoney:
This week at TMN, I’ll be explaining women.
TMN=The Morning News

antidote to current events:
Text: Endings Mentioned by the Novelists

now I remember why I stopped reading the paper...

Teen-ager shot in head at gun show dies of his injuries
I can't even think of what to say about this.

Lindh's plea deal
I am sick of this whole thing, but here's an interesting little tidbit-
-- He pleads guilty to one count of carrying explosives, a hand grenade, while serving with the Taliban. A 10-year sentence.
10 years for carrying a hand grenade? for fuck's sake, just send this moron into exile somewhere and spend the prison dollars on rapists.
ooooh. and if I had time, I'd rant a bit more. now I'm just crabby.

The USPS spent $360,000 buying 40 Segways, which they will test out in various parts of the country. San Francisco has several of them; they're being tested in our hillier neighborhoods.

and this actually cheered me up:
BUCK STOPS: Euro overtakes the dollar on currency markets
"In a period when the United States is clearly the world's only superpower, often perceived as selfish and unthinking about its European allies, Monday's little psychological victory of the euro over the dollar provided some not-so- sheepish satisfaction."

test
schmest

another Kyrgyzstan link (from my bro, Chris):
Kyrgyzstan is one of the world's most dangerous places for journalists

On May 3, 2002, the Committee to Protect Journalists marked World Press Freedom Day by naming the world's worst places to be a journalist - 10 places whose dangers and restrictions represent the full range of current threats to press freedom.
On the list of the worst places to be a journalist are: the West Bank, Colombia, Afghanistan, Eritrea, Belarus, Burma, Zimbabwe, Iran, Kyrgyzstan, and Cuba.

ah-woooooooo

My Hero Guild Name is...
The Diamond-Tipped Werewolf.

and now, for something completely silly

Pavorotti loves Elephants
(you need sound for the total silliness experience)

fermented mare's milk, part two

So-
my sister- who was born when I was nearly eight years old; who was a little pudding in my arms, my childhood buddy and silly-dance partner; who bravely withstood the tortures of being a youngest child, and is and has always been one of the Best People I Know- is going to Kyrgyzstan for two years with the Peace Corps. It's amazing and wonderful and scary, and I'm so proud of her I just want to weep.

Here are some resources about Kyrgyzstan, which I can now spell correctly. It's a start, at least.

-Photo Gallery from the Peace Corps site
-Lonely Planet:
"What Kyrgyzstan lacks in gracious buildings and fancy cakes, it more than makes up for with nomadic traditions such as laid-back hospitality, a healthy distrust of authority and a fondness for drinking fermented mare's milk."
-Weather
-Deseret News:
Kyrgyzstan bubbling with natural beauty:
The countryside offers visitors inspiring sights
-the ICARP Kyrgyzstan Page
-the Kyrgyz Embassy
-Eurasianet Kyrgyzstan Resource Page
-Kyrgyzstan Development Gateway:
"Patriots of Kyrgyzstan! The fate of the CDF – fate of the country and all its citizens directly depends on the attitude of each citizen."

woof!

Dean's dog has a stalker!
Recently Dean started posting the Oliver Daily Photo, which is a lovely thing for those of us who are dog-deprived...

tonight's entertainment (and boy, do I need to be entertained):
Writers with Drinks, followed later by The Cantankerous Lollies at the Hotel Utah.

Plover Patrol:
State increases protections for threatened bird
"When the plovers are chased, it inhibits their ability to feed and build up energy reserves," Schafer said. "People tell us, 'My dog's on a leash.' But if I walked into your living room with a saber-toothed tiger on a leash, your dog would still experience stress."
(photo)

fermented mare's milk, yum!

Erika is going to Kyrgyzstan for two years!
it's craaazy.

a selection of Jeff Danziger cartoons:
-Armed Pilots: Sit Back and Relax
-Cigarettes Pass $7.00 a Pack in New York
-Global Pledge of Allegiance
-In God We Trust
-Martha's Knife

darlings, I have no news.
I'm tired.
I have newspaper stories about bears and small justice and cute Polish girls I could tell you to read, and some photos I will post any day now, I swear.
hang in there with me.
tell me a story. send me an email. call me on my stupid cell phone. send me a kiss.

cream and sugar?

Muni yesterday morning:
40 people get whiplash and one woman gets a full coffee bath.