ramble on (and on)

I'm slightly hung over today. my brain is working in slow-mo.
It's been established, again, that I talk an awful lot when I've been drinking. I have this memory of just shouting a lot. I guess everyone was.
goodness.

Ho-Ho wrote me an email months ago that I just keep rereading...
"My life is now a series of Thursdays and Saturdays.  By Thursday my attitude improves because the next day is Friday and no matter how bad things go on Friday it's still Friday.  And Saturday is when I get to live my life as I see fit.
'Everybody's workin' for the weekend...'"
yeah. sigh.
what's up with this sense of entitlement that we've all got, myself included? I'm entitled to more LIFE, more ME time, more time to CREATE!
I suppose (bear with my slow-motion thinking, please) artists have always been that way.
and most wealthy folk have always had all that time, and taken it completely for granted.
and people like my ancestors have always lived for the land, for their kids, for their parents; they've worked a LOT, and never felt they were missing anything: life is working hard, feeding your family, making sure everyone has shoes.
nothing wrong with that. nothing bad about working hard, and being dedicated.
am I lazy? or selfish? how do people find a balance? how do I finally find the JOB that makes me want to be dedicated and work hard?
do I really wish I could live with less self-examination? with lower standards for happiness? with the desire to spend the next 20 years raising pups?
One thing I would really, really like to do eventually (you know, after I have my shit together) is be a foster parent. sadly, this is not a way to make a living. and social work is probably not the career I'm looking for, either.

more and more people I know are having kids...
this is cool. I like kids; I like my friends having kids.
but it's not for me, I don't think.
green fairy has some rather extreme things to say about people having kids. She was sterilized at the age of 21.
The breeder counter on her site is pretty awesome.
but now we're talking about something different.
more coffee now.