December 30, 2003
I will appreciate later how people use their time here. Though Kyrgyz people seem to be embracing materialism with a passion, they haven’t heard about stress yet. I hear in letters from America how many people are busy, busy, busy, and that the holiday season is rather stressful. That phenomenon has definitely not arrived here yet. People have time to sit with their friends, there is no rush to be anywhere else or to get something else done.
This weekend I went to several of the student’s New Year’s celebrations/ concerts, and also to the teacher’s New Year’s party. Parties work a lot differently here. There is someone with a microphone, and people take turns giving extensive toasts. If they don’t say a toast, they sing a song for the gathering. There are organized times to get up and dance. I am always amazed that these festivities are crowned with the national dish of beshbarmak, boiled sheep meat and noodles that are eaten with the hands! The fat is (supposedly) the best part. At one point it was really ridiculous to find myself listening to a really off-key singer fighting with the yamaha piano accompaniment, while my host father hands me a large clump of fat, which I’m supposed to eat with relish. It’s hard to find a place to put a clump of fat, let me tell you. I did eat a sheep rib, I though that seemed safe. Then there was dancing, to Uzbek music, which was actually kind of fun. Though I really can’t dance, the teachers (mostly drunk by this point) are really excited when I make the effort.
I will appreciate later how people use their time here. Though Kyrgyz people seem to be embracing materialism with a passion, they haven’t heard about stress yet. I hear in letters from America how many people are busy, busy, busy, and that the holiday season is rather stressful. That phenomenon has definitely not arrived here yet. People have time to sit with their friends, there is no rush to be anywhere else or to get something else done.
This weekend I went to several of the student’s New Year’s celebrations/ concerts, and also to the teacher’s New Year’s party. Parties work a lot differently here. There is someone with a microphone, and people take turns giving extensive toasts. If they don’t say a toast, they sing a song for the gathering. There are organized times to get up and dance. I am always amazed that these festivities are crowned with the national dish of beshbarmak, boiled sheep meat and noodles that are eaten with the hands! The fat is (supposedly) the best part. At one point it was really ridiculous to find myself listening to a really off-key singer fighting with the yamaha piano accompaniment, while my host father hands me a large clump of fat, which I’m supposed to eat with relish. It’s hard to find a place to put a clump of fat, let me tell you. I did eat a sheep rib, I though that seemed safe. Then there was dancing, to Uzbek music, which was actually kind of fun. Though I really can’t dance, the teachers (mostly drunk by this point) are really excited when I make the effort.
December 29, 2003
The eleventh graders prepared the customary New Year’s concert. Each class (11a, 11b, and 11c) is supposed to compete in each category. My favorites are the waltz segment and the dance. The waltz part is great because it’s so old fashioned. The students aren’t particularly talented, but they can spin around quite well to the cheesy Russian pop music, and it makes me almost get a little teary. There was also a modern pop dance competition and a competition for Uzbek dancing. There is one extremely talented girl in my 11th form. Her name is Aida, and I admire and envy her dancing skills. Inevitably, other teachers and students asked me to express my New Year’s wishes to the class with the microphone and heckled me to dance, both of which ideas are enough to feel like nightmares. I’m waiting to stop being shy about speaking in front of large groups any day now.
Tonight I’m off to the teachers’ New Year’s party. There will be lots of heavy drinking, I’m bracing up for it. I hope it’s a fun time.
Christmas turned out to be great, probably because I didn’t have any expectations. I spent Christmas Eve at Megan’s house with her and Loren. We listened to the BBC broadcast of the service of lessons and carols from King’s college, live, and made cheese fondue, which was divine. My Christmas present to Loren and Megan was a countdown calendar, which measures the number and percentage of days left in country. Haha. Christmas day I went to Kierovka, where I had a late lunch of spaghetti with meat sauce at Caroline and Joe’s house. Ben and Nate, as well as Gabriel, and John, two new volunteers also came. It was a lovely lovely day! Caroline and Joe’s host family is very hospitable, so I enjoyed it immensely. Their house hadn’t had electricity for the previous 3 days, so we sat around by candlelight. Fortunately, they had gas to cook with, but it was cold enough in the house to see your breath. We went to Nate’s house in the evening- he also lives in Kierovka- and watched the Charlie Brown Christmas special, which Caroline had received from home, and which I had never seen.
This week is the end of the semester, just two more days before a ten-day vacation. I’m going to try to stay in my village for New Year’s Eve. I’ve been leaving so much to visit other people that I feel like I don’t live here full-time anymore.
The eleventh graders prepared the customary New Year’s concert. Each class (11a, 11b, and 11c) is supposed to compete in each category. My favorites are the waltz segment and the dance. The waltz part is great because it’s so old fashioned. The students aren’t particularly talented, but they can spin around quite well to the cheesy Russian pop music, and it makes me almost get a little teary. There was also a modern pop dance competition and a competition for Uzbek dancing. There is one extremely talented girl in my 11th form. Her name is Aida, and I admire and envy her dancing skills. Inevitably, other teachers and students asked me to express my New Year’s wishes to the class with the microphone and heckled me to dance, both of which ideas are enough to feel like nightmares. I’m waiting to stop being shy about speaking in front of large groups any day now.
Tonight I’m off to the teachers’ New Year’s party. There will be lots of heavy drinking, I’m bracing up for it. I hope it’s a fun time.
Christmas turned out to be great, probably because I didn’t have any expectations. I spent Christmas Eve at Megan’s house with her and Loren. We listened to the BBC broadcast of the service of lessons and carols from King’s college, live, and made cheese fondue, which was divine. My Christmas present to Loren and Megan was a countdown calendar, which measures the number and percentage of days left in country. Haha. Christmas day I went to Kierovka, where I had a late lunch of spaghetti with meat sauce at Caroline and Joe’s house. Ben and Nate, as well as Gabriel, and John, two new volunteers also came. It was a lovely lovely day! Caroline and Joe’s host family is very hospitable, so I enjoyed it immensely. Their house hadn’t had electricity for the previous 3 days, so we sat around by candlelight. Fortunately, they had gas to cook with, but it was cold enough in the house to see your breath. We went to Nate’s house in the evening- he also lives in Kierovka- and watched the Charlie Brown Christmas special, which Caroline had received from home, and which I had never seen.
This week is the end of the semester, just two more days before a ten-day vacation. I’m going to try to stay in my village for New Year’s Eve. I’ve been leaving so much to visit other people that I feel like I don’t live here full-time anymore.
December 27, 2003
I spent a couple of lessons talking about Christmas traditions in America. Some kids were really fascinated by the whole Santa Claus question. They wanted to know how late in life Americans carry the belief of Santa Claus, which reminded me of how I tragically curtailed my childhood friend Kate’s Christmas joy… I celebrated Christmas with fellow volunteers, and I celebrated New Year’s with my nearest co-volunteer’s host family. New Year’s has a lot of Christmas traditions. There is a New Year’s tree (suspiciously like a Christmas tree), and Santa Claus comes. It seems like a Russian Orthodox Christmas traditions got shoved over onto New Year’s so that they could be de-religionized and propogated throughout the Soviet Union. I live in a weird, weird place. It’s hard to know where to start actually. No, I haven’t had a shower since my last trip to Bishkek, but I’m kind of adapted to the ole’ bucket bath by now. Ooh, one interesting medical freaky thing that happened to me last May was a carbunkle. (I’ll let you look that up in a medical dictionary, it’s too gross to go into, I’ll just share that it involved a lot of green pus.) My friends told me that it was because I drank cold water! Cold water is EXTREMELY dangerous for your health, don’t ever ever drink it. (The carbunkle was probably because of lack of bathing.)
This morning I went to my Elderbek’s school New Year’s celebration. It is the tradition here to wear costumes for New Year’s. Elderbek was a knight. It was very cute. I will send pictures. I will attend the 9th and 10th grade concert this afternoon, and the 11th grade concert tomorrow.
I sat and talked happily with my host family for a long time last night. Life is good again!
I spent a couple of lessons talking about Christmas traditions in America. Some kids were really fascinated by the whole Santa Claus question. They wanted to know how late in life Americans carry the belief of Santa Claus, which reminded me of how I tragically curtailed my childhood friend Kate’s Christmas joy… I celebrated Christmas with fellow volunteers, and I celebrated New Year’s with my nearest co-volunteer’s host family. New Year’s has a lot of Christmas traditions. There is a New Year’s tree (suspiciously like a Christmas tree), and Santa Claus comes. It seems like a Russian Orthodox Christmas traditions got shoved over onto New Year’s so that they could be de-religionized and propogated throughout the Soviet Union. I live in a weird, weird place. It’s hard to know where to start actually. No, I haven’t had a shower since my last trip to Bishkek, but I’m kind of adapted to the ole’ bucket bath by now. Ooh, one interesting medical freaky thing that happened to me last May was a carbunkle. (I’ll let you look that up in a medical dictionary, it’s too gross to go into, I’ll just share that it involved a lot of green pus.) My friends told me that it was because I drank cold water! Cold water is EXTREMELY dangerous for your health, don’t ever ever drink it. (The carbunkle was probably because of lack of bathing.)
This morning I went to my Elderbek’s school New Year’s celebration. It is the tradition here to wear costumes for New Year’s. Elderbek was a knight. It was very cute. I will send pictures. I will attend the 9th and 10th grade concert this afternoon, and the 11th grade concert tomorrow.
I sat and talked happily with my host family for a long time last night. Life is good again!
December 24, 2003
I wanted to update you too, that everything is looking better with my family! While I was away this weekend, Essengul, the closest thing to a guardian angel I’ll ever have, took the director to my house to speak with my host parents. She talked about how I’m a volunteer, that if I don’t like it I can leave, and that I need a little bit of friendliness (those are my words. I don’t know how she said it.) She also explained again how the money thing is supposed to work, and that plenty of people would be willing to take me for the amount of money they would get out of me. My host mother is still not easy with me somehow, but she is trying. She made really good food, and SALAD, two days in a row. My host father is trying really hard to make conversation with me. He offered to take me to Bakai-Ata with him to find the new volunteer there, Gabriel. He was going anyway, to his sister’s store there, but it was SO nice for him to offer. He said he knew where Gabriel lived, but it turned out he didn’t really know, so we had to drive all over the place to look for his house, asking people along the way. But I found him at work, and talked with him for an hour. I think he was happy to see me, and it was good for my morale, too. And then yesterday I went to Essengul’s to pass on some Christmas gifts. She wasn’t home, but her son and daughter-in-law were entertaining guests, two of Susarbek’s former classmates from the institute where he studied in Bishkek. They were all really happy to see me (unmarried girls with American passports are always interesting), so I had a nice afternoon. I even held Bekbol (the new baby) for a while, and for the first time he didn’t cry! In the past, I had only made him cry. Kyrgyz people are really into toasts, so Mom, we said some toasts in honor of your birthday, and they toasted to Christmas for me, too. It was great.
I wanted to update you too, that everything is looking better with my family! While I was away this weekend, Essengul, the closest thing to a guardian angel I’ll ever have, took the director to my house to speak with my host parents. She talked about how I’m a volunteer, that if I don’t like it I can leave, and that I need a little bit of friendliness (those are my words. I don’t know how she said it.) She also explained again how the money thing is supposed to work, and that plenty of people would be willing to take me for the amount of money they would get out of me. My host mother is still not easy with me somehow, but she is trying. She made really good food, and SALAD, two days in a row. My host father is trying really hard to make conversation with me. He offered to take me to Bakai-Ata with him to find the new volunteer there, Gabriel. He was going anyway, to his sister’s store there, but it was SO nice for him to offer. He said he knew where Gabriel lived, but it turned out he didn’t really know, so we had to drive all over the place to look for his house, asking people along the way. But I found him at work, and talked with him for an hour. I think he was happy to see me, and it was good for my morale, too. And then yesterday I went to Essengul’s to pass on some Christmas gifts. She wasn’t home, but her son and daughter-in-law were entertaining guests, two of Susarbek’s former classmates from the institute where he studied in Bishkek. They were all really happy to see me (unmarried girls with American passports are always interesting), so I had a nice afternoon. I even held Bekbol (the new baby) for a while, and for the first time he didn’t cry! In the past, I had only made him cry. Kyrgyz people are really into toasts, so Mom, we said some toasts in honor of your birthday, and they toasted to Christmas for me, too. It was great.
December 20, 2003
Happy fourth week of advent!
First, to update you on the family- I got up the nerve to confront them about my not being allowed to have guests, and they had some extremely flimsy excuses, like there aren’t enough blankets (a bunch of crap.). My host mother does not seem to like me. When I arrived in April she seemed to be excited, but now I know she is thinking about the money aspects of this agreement more than anything. My host father continues to be kind to me, but he doesn’t want to rock the boat, apparently. The fun part was today when I came home there was a guest who made a big deal about me and how lucky they are to have me living here, and he actually knew about the big holiday on December 25, so in a toast he wished me a happy holiday! It was great because I know they were feeling ashamed about how they’d basically told me I couldn’t celebrate my holiday. It made me feel like I won something. Excuse me for my pettiness.
I got back today from Pokrovka. Megan had told all her family about my woes, because when I arrived in Pokrovka her host parents greeted me with big hugs and handshakes, and it was delightful. Really, I just need a minimum of kindness. I also had a very nice taxi ride there with a young Kyrgyz couple. They seemed very happy and spunky and not the tired, defeated 25 year olds that you often meet. At Megan’s, we baked lots of cookies. Loren and Caroline came too. We exchanged secret Santa gifts and listened to music. I plan on giving my family a taste of the cookies, in order to prove to myself that the spirit of Christmas conquers all. Hah.
Essengul got back from Bishkek, and I was able to tell her my whole story. She was a good listener, and she will help me address the problem. I never filled out a housing contract with this family, (and Peace Corps doesn’t seem to care or notice too much!), so I need to get a copy of the housing contract, and get my school director and Essengul to come over and get my family to sign it. The people in this village need to realize that I am here because I want to help them, and if they aren’t willing to help me back, then I don’t have to stay. In the contract it says how I’m allowed to have guests over and the 1000 som I give every month is for food only, and the 800 som salary I have from the school (which my family gets) is for renting my room. Maybe I have a false sense of entitlement, but I did not come for two years of unfriendliness!
Only one year left. We talked this weekend about how we were looking forward to the halfway mark this fall/winter, but forgot to look ahead to the other side of that mark- a whole year still left! I get lots of letters where people talk about my “mission” in Kyrgyzstan. It doesn’t feel so much like a mission as it feels like a marathon. It’s more like a marathon because mostly I’m trying to get to the end point, without much looking for success or victory, just survival, making it.
We will have vacation for two weeks, and I’ll likely spend a lot of time in Pokrovka. I might go to Bishkek if i have enough money, or I’ll go to Grosny to visit Loren.
Happy fourth week of advent!
First, to update you on the family- I got up the nerve to confront them about my not being allowed to have guests, and they had some extremely flimsy excuses, like there aren’t enough blankets (a bunch of crap.). My host mother does not seem to like me. When I arrived in April she seemed to be excited, but now I know she is thinking about the money aspects of this agreement more than anything. My host father continues to be kind to me, but he doesn’t want to rock the boat, apparently. The fun part was today when I came home there was a guest who made a big deal about me and how lucky they are to have me living here, and he actually knew about the big holiday on December 25, so in a toast he wished me a happy holiday! It was great because I know they were feeling ashamed about how they’d basically told me I couldn’t celebrate my holiday. It made me feel like I won something. Excuse me for my pettiness.
I got back today from Pokrovka. Megan had told all her family about my woes, because when I arrived in Pokrovka her host parents greeted me with big hugs and handshakes, and it was delightful. Really, I just need a minimum of kindness. I also had a very nice taxi ride there with a young Kyrgyz couple. They seemed very happy and spunky and not the tired, defeated 25 year olds that you often meet. At Megan’s, we baked lots of cookies. Loren and Caroline came too. We exchanged secret Santa gifts and listened to music. I plan on giving my family a taste of the cookies, in order to prove to myself that the spirit of Christmas conquers all. Hah.
Essengul got back from Bishkek, and I was able to tell her my whole story. She was a good listener, and she will help me address the problem. I never filled out a housing contract with this family, (and Peace Corps doesn’t seem to care or notice too much!), so I need to get a copy of the housing contract, and get my school director and Essengul to come over and get my family to sign it. The people in this village need to realize that I am here because I want to help them, and if they aren’t willing to help me back, then I don’t have to stay. In the contract it says how I’m allowed to have guests over and the 1000 som I give every month is for food only, and the 800 som salary I have from the school (which my family gets) is for renting my room. Maybe I have a false sense of entitlement, but I did not come for two years of unfriendliness!
Only one year left. We talked this weekend about how we were looking forward to the halfway mark this fall/winter, but forgot to look ahead to the other side of that mark- a whole year still left! I get lots of letters where people talk about my “mission” in Kyrgyzstan. It doesn’t feel so much like a mission as it feels like a marathon. It’s more like a marathon because mostly I’m trying to get to the end point, without much looking for success or victory, just survival, making it.
We will have vacation for two weeks, and I’ll likely spend a lot of time in Pokrovka. I might go to Bishkek if i have enough money, or I’ll go to Grosny to visit Loren.
December 17, 2003
I’m sorry to complain again, but it was another difficult day yesterday. You know how before, my host mother told me that my students (only Nargeeza and Mirbek ever came over) could no longer study in my bedroom, because they might steal money! That was a bit of insanity, but yesterday was worse because I had a rare moment to talk to her, so I told her about how our biggest holiday is Christmas, and I was wondering if I could have Loren and Megan over for Christmas Eve (we are all going to Caroline and Joe’s house on Christmas day) and she said no! She said in winter, things are “difficult” for them. She was beating around the bush, so I said it for her “so you’re saying no” and she nodded her head, with a sheepish smile on her face. I was obviously upset, but she just carried on with everything like nothing had happened. I guess her way of coping is just sweeping everything under the rug. I think she doesn’t tell Azimkan, and then he has no idea why I’m not doing so well as a member of the household. He is the only one who is friendly to me without weirdness. Lately Keshim has been micromanaging me a lot. She doesn’t talk to me except to ask me about whether I’ll eat food now, or to tell me that I need to not leave my shoes by the door because there are too many shoes (everyone leaves their shoes by the door). One recent weirdness was that she refused to wash my two daily dirty teacups. This had been an issue before, because sometimes I cook for myself, and of course I want to clean up after myself but sometimes there are too many dirty dishes for me to find a place to wash, so I put them aside for later. Then, when she does the dishes, she leaves mine aside. I fully approve this, I want to wash my own dishes, but leaving two dirty tea cups is ridiculous. Sometimes I wash all their dishes to help her out, but I don’t do this too often because any time I have ever helped her, she gets really bossy and treats me like I am the daughter-in-law (daughter-in-laws are houseslaves). Like once when they came home with a million guests and she ordered me to pour the tea because she was too drunk. Pouring the tea is not just one pour, the person who is pouring for 10 guests is constantly being passed those little bitty teacups and constantly pouring. Another gripe I have is that I am paying them an enormous amount of money for food, and we don’t even have carrots in the house for me to eat. So I’m buying a lot of food for myself, in addition to paying them. Anyway, I’m babbling, but these are the petty things that are weighing down on me right now. And we are going to Megan’s for Christmas Eve, they are friendly and hospitable there.
I had a good day, because I had a good English club with my tenth graders, who are really interested and try hard. I’m waiting for them to speak English any day now. J We did activities based on a pop song I played for them. I had forgotten how much they love listening to American music. I’ll have to do that more. My advent wreath is ablaze, a Christmas incense is burning, and I plan on finishing Megan’s scarf within a few days.
I went running this afternoon, and only had to throw rocks at dangerous dogs once. I really shouldn’t do it, run by myself, at least not in the afternoon. If I run in the village, there are dogs, and outside of the village, there are no dogs, but there are men working in the fields, shepherds, etc. There is a place I can run on top of this hill, and kind of do laps, but today there were sheep and a shepherd on top, so I felt a little too self-conscious. Running is such a weirdo thing to do! I ran behind and past the school. You’d think that the school would be the best place to run, but in fact our caretaker has the scariest dog ever. I had to run while throwing rocks behind me with that big black dog in full pursuit. Picture the ridiculousness of my attempts at athleticism. Tomorrow I only teach a few classes, and then will help students prepare for the oblast olympiad. Even though none of my students made it the normal way to the olympiad, by winning the regional competition, we get to send some students directly because we are a “gymnasium,” which is nothing more than a title, really. And since Mirbek is going for physics and Nargeeza is going for biology, we are sending Alina for English. I just want the olympiads to be over! Friday or Saturday I will go to Pokrovka to bake cookies with Megan.
I’m sorry to complain again, but it was another difficult day yesterday. You know how before, my host mother told me that my students (only Nargeeza and Mirbek ever came over) could no longer study in my bedroom, because they might steal money! That was a bit of insanity, but yesterday was worse because I had a rare moment to talk to her, so I told her about how our biggest holiday is Christmas, and I was wondering if I could have Loren and Megan over for Christmas Eve (we are all going to Caroline and Joe’s house on Christmas day) and she said no! She said in winter, things are “difficult” for them. She was beating around the bush, so I said it for her “so you’re saying no” and she nodded her head, with a sheepish smile on her face. I was obviously upset, but she just carried on with everything like nothing had happened. I guess her way of coping is just sweeping everything under the rug. I think she doesn’t tell Azimkan, and then he has no idea why I’m not doing so well as a member of the household. He is the only one who is friendly to me without weirdness. Lately Keshim has been micromanaging me a lot. She doesn’t talk to me except to ask me about whether I’ll eat food now, or to tell me that I need to not leave my shoes by the door because there are too many shoes (everyone leaves their shoes by the door). One recent weirdness was that she refused to wash my two daily dirty teacups. This had been an issue before, because sometimes I cook for myself, and of course I want to clean up after myself but sometimes there are too many dirty dishes for me to find a place to wash, so I put them aside for later. Then, when she does the dishes, she leaves mine aside. I fully approve this, I want to wash my own dishes, but leaving two dirty tea cups is ridiculous. Sometimes I wash all their dishes to help her out, but I don’t do this too often because any time I have ever helped her, she gets really bossy and treats me like I am the daughter-in-law (daughter-in-laws are houseslaves). Like once when they came home with a million guests and she ordered me to pour the tea because she was too drunk. Pouring the tea is not just one pour, the person who is pouring for 10 guests is constantly being passed those little bitty teacups and constantly pouring. Another gripe I have is that I am paying them an enormous amount of money for food, and we don’t even have carrots in the house for me to eat. So I’m buying a lot of food for myself, in addition to paying them. Anyway, I’m babbling, but these are the petty things that are weighing down on me right now. And we are going to Megan’s for Christmas Eve, they are friendly and hospitable there.
I had a good day, because I had a good English club with my tenth graders, who are really interested and try hard. I’m waiting for them to speak English any day now. J We did activities based on a pop song I played for them. I had forgotten how much they love listening to American music. I’ll have to do that more. My advent wreath is ablaze, a Christmas incense is burning, and I plan on finishing Megan’s scarf within a few days.
I went running this afternoon, and only had to throw rocks at dangerous dogs once. I really shouldn’t do it, run by myself, at least not in the afternoon. If I run in the village, there are dogs, and outside of the village, there are no dogs, but there are men working in the fields, shepherds, etc. There is a place I can run on top of this hill, and kind of do laps, but today there were sheep and a shepherd on top, so I felt a little too self-conscious. Running is such a weirdo thing to do! I ran behind and past the school. You’d think that the school would be the best place to run, but in fact our caretaker has the scariest dog ever. I had to run while throwing rocks behind me with that big black dog in full pursuit. Picture the ridiculousness of my attempts at athleticism. Tomorrow I only teach a few classes, and then will help students prepare for the oblast olympiad. Even though none of my students made it the normal way to the olympiad, by winning the regional competition, we get to send some students directly because we are a “gymnasium,” which is nothing more than a title, really. And since Mirbek is going for physics and Nargeeza is going for biology, we are sending Alina for English. I just want the olympiads to be over! Friday or Saturday I will go to Pokrovka to bake cookies with Megan.
